Wednesday, November 30, 2005

NPR

Addicting, yes that is word that describes what NPR means to me. I feel this insane desire to finish listening to the end of the story, yesterday I listened to this guy talk about suicide, now sometimes the stories are incredibly boring, and when you finish, you are like, "Why did I just listen to that?" but yesterday, I was intrigued, his good friend had jumped off of the Golden Gate Bridge, I began to wonder about how I would feel if someone that close was suddenly gone at their own will? To actually make that choice. When. How would I feel? Why? I saw someone standing on a bridge near where I take Zaid to preschool at, when I saw him, I thought he needs help, this is a cry for help, for someone to listen to him.
On the program yesterday, there was a survivor of a Golden Gate Bridge jumpoff and he said that the thought that crossed his mind when he jumped, was, "No, I do not want to die." Then he talked about how thankful he was to be alive. He said he no longer ponders suicide. I wonder what people think about on the fall down?

Monday, November 28, 2005

Early Risers


Today I awoke early, working around the house, with my thoughts, prayers, and dreams, appreciating the mounting storm. It felt so good to get so much accomplished in only a couple of hours. I felt so much better today nice, all of those words that only mean your soul feels good. I made breakfast for my sweetie pie, Zaid, he complained a lot, but I did not loose it today. I kept things in perspective. I realize I am the adult here, he does not know what he can do when he calls my name, while I am in the bathroom, 500 times? Does he? I remember being a child, you do not think much about Mommy and what she is doing right now, only thinking that she was mine and that she would come when I called. We went for ice-cream at an ice-cream store, and I did not think about all the calories I was consuming, I only thought about how nice it was and that I had eaten healthy today so it was okay, I thought about how nice it is to go out with your child and just enjoy simple pleasures, the ice-cream was even FREE!! :) I have been keeping two customer punch coupons for a LONG time, and today we redeemed them. So many times, I thought about getting ice-cream but did not, today we indulged, we went to Kroger, we got Zaid something to drink, and we bought only what I could carry, butter, brown eggs, waffles (Zaid's idea) and grape juice. Our total was low. It was a wonderful day. Now, I am having quiet time for myself, sitting in the massage chair in the sound-proof sun room with a small heater on. I have to have this time, I need to have this time, it is essential for my soul, so why is it so hard to take? Why do I assume I am superwoman and can NEVER stop going? I feel cleansed now, Zaid had a four year old melt down in the post office, yes Zaid I do not like sitting in the post office for thirty minutes either, but sometimes you have to, yes it is not fair, but hitting Mommy is not the way to express your frustrations. So now, I am forgetting the bad and choosing to remember the good, Zaid lost getting his fish for his fish tank for three days. He is incredibly sad. Discipline is hard for parents.

Time for me to find a dinner recipe and get to work.
This was nice to think, to type, to remember the good about my day.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Lake Michigan

Today we are going to Lake Michigan to look at the dunes and the beach. I did not realize that Lake Michigan was so big. I probably should have paid more attention in geography class.
I am excited to go and listen to the waves. I love water and would one day like to live on the beach. I plan on taking Christmas pictures on the Lake. I hope that they turn out well.

Friday, November 11, 2005

In Everything~


Blessings~ This morning I am thankful for the soft snoring of my baby in our hotel room, the sound of my husband chattering away about work while flipping the channels on the tv, the small sliver of light coming in through the thick drapes, the sound of voices on the outside, my wet hair that smells and feels clean, my eyesite, the ability to think and reason, good health, love, life, joy, patience, our loving God who gives us our daily bread. Who supplies us with strength and wisdom to get through our day. I am thankful for life today. I am thankful for people. I am thankful for the good in all people.