Gingerbread, Baby!

Zaid and I worked on our first gingerbread house together on this weekend. We had so much fun!! We really got into the Christmas Spirit, we had Christmas music playing. I squeezed out the icing and Zaid put on most of the candy. Only eating part of each kind. :-) We made a pond out of peppermints and Zaid's favorite part was the gingerbread men on the front of the house, we glued (with icing) a gingerbread man on the roof. Zaid wanted to eat it so badly, he had been planning on eating it from the very beginning. As I began to work more, I did not want him to eat it. Then I said, "Sure, that's fine!!" He was so adorable eating on the side of the roof with his mouth. He loved it!!

Thoughts

Zaid asks me questions all of the time, that most five year olds do not ponder? A lot of time, I do not know the answer to his questions. He connects the dots, oh so well. Not much gets by him, he will call me on mistakes. I am not allowed to be hypocritical. He forgives easily though. If I tell him I am sorry, he says "Try not to do that anymore, Mama." And then he is done with it, while I am up at night wondering if I am sending him to years of therapy later on.

Zaid is unique. He is quirky. Zaid is puzzling. He is hard to read. He is giving and compassionate. He is Zaid. Maybe his name set him up for that, maybe his genes. He is not afraid to be different either. He revels in his difference.

Sometimes, I think about sending him to boarding school (mostly kidding) so that he gets an amazing education, and they can maybe answer his questions, about space, black holes, God, why people have certain reactions and life in general.

Zaid does not "connect" with just everyone he meets. He connects with a few and latches on. They will be forgiven of any wrongs they may commit. They will be loved and showered with attention by Zaid.

As a baby, Zaid always watched what was happening, then he might imitate it if he wanted to, if he saw no point to imitate the behavior, he just did not do it. In school now, he watches, he waits, I can not "force" any learning on him. He waits and then he masters the skill. Instantly. Almost overnight. (If it is a skill he wants to master, I'm not sure he will ever want his handwriting to be any better. :))

As he got older, if he says he is not going to do something. HE IS not going to do it. He will fight you tooth and nail, he is passionate about what he believes in (even though it may be candy, games, Batman, movies) right now.

I wonder if Zaid is a natural born leader? Will this skill serve him well? Will he succeed in this game we call life?

I wonder what he will be? A zookeeper? Someone who works with hammers? An artist?
(Right now, he wants to have art class (where he is the teacher) and he always says he is an expert. )

I can only pray for Zaid, and that my actions will be only in love towards him. That everything I do in life, my actions will be compassionate, kind, loving, patient.

Zaid is Zaid. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Zaid will not change for anyone, he wants to be accepted as he is.

Fall Days

Zaid and I played in the leaves today. We had a leaf fight, we laughed and laughed and laughed. We had so much fun. Then we came in, Zaid took a bath and ate a grateful dinner, looked over school work, homework and then we watched the Santa Claus 2. We watched the Santa Claus last weekend. And we are hoping to go the drive in this weekend and see Santa Claus 3. We had a really nice day. It was peaceful and fun!

One of the Sweetest Pictures

I have ever taken. It conveys so much to me. How Zaid did not feel well at all, yet he was still a trooper going to the beach and looking for shells, oh remembering it just breaks my heart all over again for this sweet lovey. . . .

Hmmmm.......

Saturday at Home

Today we just stayed around the house most of the day, with the exception of Tamer and Zaid making the trek to Wal-mart. I always forget how nice it is just to stay home. Zaid and Jacob played outside on the swingset and in the sand box. Zaid colored, cut, glued and made crafts most of the day.

I took this picture when Zaid was petting Sierra. I thought it was sweet.
She loves attention.

I am off to go outside again.

Ciao.

Events Soon

Rain

Tonight, I was caught in a rain storm. Me- "I love the rain, I love running in the rain. It is so hot, I wish it would rain." Soft rain begins to fall, soft rain turns to quicker rain. Me- "I hope that thunder and lightening does not accompany this rain." Then, comes the lightening, thunder follows. The quicker rain turns into sheets of rain all around us. The sweat mixes with the rain and burns my eyes. The rain feels like needles on my back. We wait under a high school awning. I play with a locust/katydid. I watch the ants. My mind turns over and over. Rain.

Ice Day at Nashville Zoo at Grassmere

On Saturday, we attended Ice Day at Nashville Zoo. We all had a wonderful time. The weather was cool and cloudy for most of the day. Zaid said "I love Ice Day." They had ice treats that you could make (sno cones). Zaid made a rainbow sno cone. Ice Age was the theme. There were tons of ice sculpture animals. Zaid loved to touch the ice sculptures. He played at the playground for most of the time. Tamer played with him a lot, I sat out a little, then I decided to take pictures and play too. I got a turn on the swing, I was going so, so high, Tamer kept pushing and pushing me, I felt like I was going to go to the sky. I have not had that feeling in a long time.

New Beginnings

Sad, emotional, overwrought with fear, intense sobbing all created my day today. Sending your first and only child to kindergarten......He tells me about how "so and so" was bad and they got sent to time out because they did not have any more stars....I begin to ponder home schooling for all the kindergarten......Somehow I think sometimes, there must be a better way? No child should be labeled as bad, this early on in school? Should they? Is that the only way to keep children under control? I wonder? I am saddened. Zaid appears to love kindergarten, would he still love it even if he were bad ?
I never want his sense of wonder to leave him. Everyone keeps telling me that this is the year that children grow up? He is five. I do not want hims to grow up in ten months. I always want him to be innocent.

I was informed that I could not walk with him into the school anymore....I know he is not scared at all, he practically ran to his class this morning, but that does not mean I am not scare. I AM very scared of him not needing me anymore.
*pondering the second day of kindergarten*

A Summer

Our summer has been full to the bursting with activities, love, sadness, new pets, sickness and traveling.
We decided to watch our friend's eighteen month old for the summer too.
We got a new cat named Sierra.
My sister visited for a solid week. :)
We had a friend stay with us for a month.
Zaid took his first trip for a week by himself to my Mama's house.
We visited the zoo, the Shaker Museum, Kentucky Down Under, Chaney's Dairy Barn, the movies (kid's summer film festival) Curious George and March of the Penguins, we went to Lost River Cave, I worked a VBS going to the Artic Edge, Zaid attended Artic Edge and a VBS at Mawmaw's about Australia.
Zaid sang a song in front of the church from Vacation Bible School at Mawmaw's church (the other kids were a wee bit late.)
We watched Fireworks in the Franklin Park. The kids jumped on the jumpers most of the night. Fun.
We attended a July 4th celebration at the square. Zaid, Mitchel and Serenity rode in the wagon at the kiddie 100 Firecracker parade. Zaid won a spiderman big kid bike. (Tamer said I should have seen the look on his face. Awestruck I assuming. I was working the PTO booth.) He loves his new bike.
We caught fireflys outside at night with our wonderful friends.
We watched "Cars" at the Drive-In Theatre.
He rode his bike to the Franklin Pool. We walked beside him.
Zaid and I went to Relay for Life in Franklin, Zaid played with a friend and they jumped on the jumpers and punched a punching bag and went down an inflatable slide. Zaid played golf at Relay for life. He won a free french fry and free ice cream.
Zaid learned how to swim laps at Mawmaw's house.
Tamer's friend Josh visited us in May.
Zaid graduated from preschool.
Zaid went to a cool birthday at Imagination Stations for one of his best buddies. Oh, the fun they had. They jumped and ran and slid and laughed and smiled.
We painted a plate and a mug at a Pottery Studio. Zaid painted a cool alien on his plate. He painted black polka dots on his mug. He signed his name on the back of the plate and put a handprint. His mug is orange and his plate is blue on front and green on back.
Zaid made a mean bear mask at the Library when the Clay Lady came for a visit.
Yesterday we played in the sprinkler, Zaid hosed Jacob down, Jacob hosed whatever the hose was aimed at down. They played with the watering cans and sand box. They had popsicles outside. I gave them both a bath and fed them cheese sandwiches and beans (they did not like the beans), Jacob took a nap easily yesterday. Zaid sweetly petted the cat in the chair, I took a memory picture. I read to Zaid on the couch, he did not want a blanket, he was warm, he dressed himself in a fuzzy blue and red blanket sleeper. He cuddled with me as I read to him. I adore him. They chased the cat. They threw memory cards at Sierra, I had to deep-clean lots of things. Jacob saw that I was eating a hot dog, he said "hahaha" and dropped his toy, he climbed up on the chair next to me and had a few bites of hot dog. Zaid appeared just as the hot dog was gone. He wondered why we had hot dog and he did not. I fed them a snack of granola bars and mandarin oranges they ate it up they loved it so. Zaid ate a two Kashi TLC crunchy granola bars. Jacob came back over while his Mom was at an Open House, we ate gyros. Zaid LOVED his, he ate over half of it, a ton of lettuce on the gyro too. Jacob like his food, the pita bread especially. We had a sugar baby watermelon for dessert. Tamer is the best cook in the world. Jacob colored in a color wonder book with finger paints and markers. Zaid took a bath to get the watermelonm off. I told Tamer about an article I read, where you poke holes in the watermelonm and drink it through a straw, then you throw the watermelon on a clean towel/sheet and scramble to get a piece. Zaid decided to drink his watermelon through a straw, he said that it did not work. Zaid and I went to Wal-Mart. We came home and slept. Today we went on a nature walk, Zaid found beautiful flowers and put them in tiny dixie cups. Zaid and Tamer checked on the pumpkins we planted. Jacob played in the sand table while Zaid played on the swingset. Zaid got a container for his nature findings. We played outside and went for a walk, Zaid found "frogs in the grass" after I threw them in the grass(he closed his eyes.) Jacob painted a walrus that was leftover from Zaid's birthday. Tamer and Zaid made delicious homeade pizza with turkey sausage and onion. We walked to the Library and Zaid picked up his animal mask from Ms. Gayle, his mean bear Zaid talked to Ms. Gayle, we checked out a some books. We went to Rite Aid and Zaid played on a toy keyboard. We purchased color wonder and elmo coloring book for Jacob, today was his last day here. The boys ahd a snack of applesauce and milk for Jacob, water for Zaid. I read them The Ten Little Rubber Ducks. They both watched the book intently, I think they liked it. Jacob went
home. Zaid played some video games with Tamer. I did a ton of laundry and talked to my Mama. Tamer took Zaid to get his "prize" at the library for reading 20 books.
We pulled them in the the red wagon. Zaid and I went outside on the wicker swing and watch the rain, we saw red birds or cardinals as he call them, we sang songs about standing up and speaking for God, Five Little Speckled Frogs, Going to the Zoo Tomorrow, Robin in the Rain, then the great fun began when he had me smell his stinky feet and I shrieked, then he did it over and over again. We played give me five and penuckle, I gave him a ride inside, we checked on Tamer and then outside again we went to read books. I read The Napping House (two timnes) Zaid read along the second time, he loved this book where the child is on Granny, the dog is on the child, the cat is on the dog and the mouse is on the cat and the flea is on the mouse, Love is Like a Handful of Honey and The Kissing Hand, when it was Zaid's turn to give me a presend, he gave me a stinky foot instead of the kissing hand that I gave him. We had a peaceful night, Zaid informed me that my feet were too big for my shoes and that I wore the same shoes over and over, red ones, black and green flip-flops and that I need to buy new shoes. "Mommy, you need to buy some more shoes." Tamer cooked eggs, turkey sausage, grits, and biscuits. I put peach preserves on my sausage and the n Zaid wanted to try it, he told me that I was a weirdlo when he did not like it very much. (He ate it all later on and and put peach preserves on everything.) I told hinm that he hurt my feelings. He thought about it then he told me honestly that he was sorry he hurt my feelings. It was bath time for Bonzo (Tamer gave him a bath.) , then I went in iand listened to his prayrers. He talked about the zoo and what we were going to tdo tomorrow, how he wants to make ice candy t Ice Day at the Zoo. He talked about how Jacob would not be coming back , then he talked about going to preschool, I reminded him that he would be going to kindergarten and that we had already met his teachers at open house at the picnic at his school, that he had been in the classroom, he said thhe remembered. Then he asked iwhat grade he would be in after kindergarten, he thought he would be in sixth grade, then I told him 1st, then 2nd and I went on till 6th and the he said "I didn't know." I felt bad, I was not trying to make him feel bad. I told him "I was just telling you." I gave him lots of hugs and he kissed me on my cheek a few times. Then it was time for my shower, he kept saying "Go, Mommy, go and take your shower."
Tomorrow we are going to the zoo for Ice Day. We are all excited, Zaid said that he was going to get up before us and get ready and then wake us us. "I'm going to wake up early and get ready before you and Daddy." me-"Where are we going Zaid?" "We are going to the zoo and I am going to make ice candy."

I wonder why he wants to get up before us? :)
Time for shower and sweet sleep.

Orginally Entitled "Warmth"

I wrote this on February 9-2004, almost two years ago, but still true for me today. :)

This is not at all a "happy little thought", but I was thinking last night.

That at the end of our life, we are going to die. That is what we are working towards and fowards, to death. So when I sometimes say, "I'll be happy when _______ happens." I should not do that, I should be happy in the NOW because, what else is the purpose of life. You know? What a dreary thought, yet I think that it holds good things, because it lets me know why I should try to find humor and happiness in each and every day without all the whining. :) That if I do not get trivial things done then you know what, who cares.

Is.......Does not....

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is understanding.
Love does not hit.
Love does not hurt.
Love does not yell.

This is the hardest lesson for me to learn in life. These are the hardest lessons for society to learn.